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June 15, 2022
July 5, 2022

The office is now a bar 🤯

They say bring your whole self to work, and today I seem to be taking that literally.

I’m kitted out like a jolly swagman, with a backpack with two laptops, their accessories, and various other digital paraphernalia (despite also having a computer when I get there). I have my lunch and a range of snacks in order to refuel throughout the day.

Various items of clothing because of the unpredictable Scottish summer.

I also have the dog and all his accessories.

And still I have to turn back home half-way through the journey because I’ve forgotten my special screen glasses. Which means I’m exhausted even before I get to my desk.

I wonder how I ever used to manage going into an office every day.

But with an 8-hour stretch away from home ahead of me, anything could happen.

It’s no longer a question of simply shuffling to the fridge to nibble on a piece of cheese a la BoJo.

Or cartwheeling over to the kettle to make a tea.

There are journeys to be made and etiquette to follow…

It seems I’m not the only one who needs re-educating on how to do office life

Employees have been found snoring at their desks because they’re used to taking naps while working from home. Complaints are being made about peoples’ personal hygiene.

On a more serious note, sexual harassment allegation queries have increased by 50% according to one HR and employment law advisory firm because, it says, many people have forgotten about normal social boundaries.

It says we’ve experienced two years of ‘distorted reality’ and may need to relearn appropriate workplace behaviour.

On the one hand, this seems ridiculous – how can two years at home have turned us back into cavemen? And yet on the other we’ve all been through something that’s changed ordinary things forever, so it’s no wonder we’re disorientated.

Many offices for example are altering their layouts completely – it’s out with the desks (no point if no one’s coming in) and in with the bars (to entice workers from their smelly caves.) Even the meanest bosses are saying yes to the 4-day week (so I’ve heard).These are the kind of changes that would normally have evolved over 10 years, not two.

At the same time, inflation is distorting reality also. Two years ago, my takeaway tuna toastie was £2.95 now it’s a fiver.

It feels quite futuristic, and while I’m all for progress, it’s all been so fast.

So what’s the solution? I think it’s to hold onto those analogue things so we maintain perspective: the vinyl records, the milk delivered by a milkman, the man who comes to your house fix your hoover – all as reassuringly steadfast as Tracy the barmaid who I notice is still in EastEnders.

Normal things like this seem even weirder against the backdrop of tele-everything else, but perhaps it’s what we need in order to remember what normal humans are all about.

Simple hack

If you’re fed up with serious weather reporting, try Carrot Weather. You can have your weather delivered via one of five different personalities from ‘snarky to ‘overkill’.

What an atmosphere

Staff at a restaurant in Stockholm are wearing aprons that absorb carbon dioxide from the air - they can absorb 30% of what an average tree absorbs. At the end of the day, the aprons release the CO2 back into the restaurant's greenhouse to feed the plants.

Podcast of the week

Log-ins to client portals have risen among advised clients by 27% over the past six months. But is access to information always good for advice? asks Michael Klimes in this episode from Money Marketing.

Light show

For anyone on the go or who finds typing on a phone challenging, this projected laser keyboard could be just what you need: simply project it onto any flat surface – and type!

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