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I want to punch someone

It’s been 28 days. 28. Since the drain men said they’d come back with a camera to sort my drains. Aren’t humans annoying? Increasingly it feels to me as if I’m living two completely separate lives. One is extremely analog where I’m asking people to build a fence, chop down […]

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The young ones

Little old Cliff Richard is 80. “From the moment I heard Elvis I knew that’s what I wanted to do, but I didn’t think this far ahead…” he said on the One Show this week. Well Cliff, how would you? There was no hit parade with doddery old carcasses clogging […]

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Let’s talk turkey

Have you heard? Turkeys are shrinking for Christmas. With smaller gatherings on the cards thanks to the government’s ‘rule of six’, farmers are having to reduce the size of the birds. “It’s too late to grow smaller turkeys,” said the Sunday Times. They can slaughter them earlier to reduce the […]

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Anyone for a Mr Whippy?

There a saying in dating parlance: “Don’t give away the van when you could be selling the ice creams”. In in other words: don’t sleep with someone on a first date. Not sure about dating, but it’s a good approach to marketing. One of the things that’s often wrong with […]

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553 people are reading this email

Remember how we laughed out loud at David’s Cameron’s interpretation of LOL as ‘lots of love’. OMG. I thought it was that too, for a while. Another trendy acronym (I love how untrendy the word trendy is) is FOMO. Fear of missing out. Usually, you get FOMO when your friends […]

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Give me an E. Give me an S. Give me a G.

Do you remember when ‘the environment’ first hit the scene? In its Save the Dolphins t-shirt 🐬 and a layer of Body Shop cruelty-free lip balm 🥝 (kiwi fruit flavour of course). I remember first feeling the burden of the crumbling planet in the 80s when Prince Charles warned against using hairspray because it […]

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We all have blue hair now

Do you remember how easy it used to be rebel? A tattoo. A nose ring. Ripped jeans. Say something outrageous. If you had blue hair in 1981, you might also have had a mohican, a safety pin up your nose and plastic trousers. (Was this you?) But for Millennials or […]

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How you doing?

It’s important to have an intimate relationship with your clients. You know it, my beautician knows it. That’s why she remembers things about me my own mother doesn’t know. When I bought my flat, when I launched my business, the name of my first pet. Ok that might be a […]

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The suit is dead. Long live the suit

Has Covid-19 wiped out the suit? Even if we’re shirted from the waist up while on our Zoom calls, we’re more than likely to be stretchy panted down below. But… those poor suits. I’m a little sad for them. [Insert Love Theme from Romeo and Juliette] The jackets, the ties, the […]

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Back to school special

Can you feel it? A slight cooling of the air, the breeze through the trees, the silk inside a chestnut shell? The grass is jewelled. Jet planes meet in the air to be refuelled. All those things we know so well. This is actually my favourite time of year. I […]

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